Don't be a bitch if you can't handle a bitch,

Days grow longer , time pass by in just a blink. I'm already 18 , I'm taking my diploma , and I've been through hell for the past few years.. Thank God I survived.

All the things I went through, I keep questioning not only myself, but also everyone, "What did I do to deserve such shit?" No one had the answer , only I did. Took quite sometime for me to actually figure it out.

No human deserves to be fucked over especially when your intentions are nearly as good as anything in the world. But then again , nobody, absolutely nobody is perfect. We make mistakes intentionally or maybe unintentionally, that is between you and yourself. Every single mistake might hurt a soul or maybe wound a heart. We all get fucked over over and over again although we don't deserve it. But somehow all that fucking over made us stronger. Made us who we are today.

But if you really did fuck over someone's life, don't question. You know what you deserve.

Treat others like how you wish to be treated.

The ugly truth

"Who you are in my life doesn't matter cause as long as I'm happy having you in my life" - EFE

How I miss hearing you remind me that I'll always have you. I just miss all our conversations. It's weird how we could stay up all night talking for hours about absolutely nothing. All the laughs was priceless. All our personal jokes were the best cause only we both understood. How we tease each other and argue about the silliest things, the best part of every conversation. The promises we both made. The stories we both shared. I remember the nights you just felt like telling me everything. Your past, your present and your future. You opened up to me. You were indeed the best routine. You were my daily happiness. You knew the exact words to say to make everything seem okay. You were just perfect. Simply perfect. I've never felt so right until you came. You introduced me to a side of me I never knew I was.

Now...I'm left with nothing. Nothing but unanswered questions.

You left. Again and again and again. Yet, I'm still so very inlove with you. And I can't seem to figure out how that's possible. I should be hating your guts by now, but guess what? I don't. Never did, never will.

Here I am , writing this freakin' post about you. Sitting here wondering where I went wrong. You've mistreated me in so many ways. Although I know I deserve better, but I can't help myself. I can't lie to myself again. Face it, I miss you. I miss having you around. I know I don't deserve all this and I shouldn't even think about you, but I just can't. You lied to me. I had to find out something about you I wish to never know.

You're mean. You're a liar. You're selfish. You're just typical.

Oh well, I still love you.

xx Dini Fadzil

Blood is thicker than water

"When things get rough, some will hide and some will go. But family will remain where they stand and surely will never leave you alone"

I had an awesome time last night. The BBQ was great ! veryone made it. All the relatives gathered around having laughs and playing guitars , singing along and just spending time doing ridiculous things. I'm blessed with a family I'd never trade anything in this world for.

The food last night was amazing. Mama's mashed potato, Uncle Yen's nasi goreng, the BBQ lamb and chicken, and Mak Ja's cocktail custard. TO DIE FOR. I stuffed so many food till i can't even move from that one spot. Pretty much the same thing happened to the others :p

Spent time at the balcony with Thariq and Fasya, sharing mostly everything. Asking each other's opinion. It felt so right letting out everything I wished to burst. I felt relieved :')

So most of the aunts and uncles were asking about SPM and I've got great deals. Hihihihi 7A's come to mamaaaaaa. I'll be getting jolly goodness if I manage to get the 7A's . Well, I did say IF. If and only if. Oh well.

Great food. Great laugh. Great company. I just love my family.

xx Dini Fadzil

Shallow minded

What's really going on with the world? Our generation is fucked over. Literally.

Criticizing. That's just too common nowadays. You wanna know what's rare? Equality. I barely see em. Judging someone by their appearance is what they do. Pushing aside the innocent ones. What is the matter with you sick people?

Do as much good as you can, but still , shit is all you get in the end. Nothing but hard cold shit. Nobody knows how to be sincere. Nobody knows how to appreciate. Nobody knows how to freakin' respect someone else's feelings.

Just because you've got your heart broken recently, doesn't give you any rights to hurt others. Don't play with people's feelings, just cause you can't figure out yours. Don't screw up people's thoughts, just cause yours is screwed. Give and take. That's how it's supposed to be.

A step at a time

I've been so caught up with SPM preparations. Although I think my preparations we'rent entirely enough, but I'm just glad I tried my best. My very best. The first day of SPM was one of the most scariest day of my life. I didn't expect it to happen that fast. But oh well , at least I went through it in one piece :)

Most of the papers were great. I managed to NOT send an empty paper like I used to do. It was filled with answers, I'm so proud of me hihi. All that's left now is Arts paper 2 on 1st December, Accounts on 5th December and Economics on 6th December. Yes, 6th December. That day is the day I get to run around freely and shake off the stress. Just a week left. Patience.

I don't think I would want to think of how my results would turn out. Well not now that is. I need to loosen up and enjoy this moment while it last. I still have a lot of commitment I need to surrender myself to. I'm already at this part of life where I need to make my own huge decisions. Lots of decisions. And heck, I'm not ready. At all. It's creeping me out, but I still have to face it. I'll figure out a way to face it somehow, someway. Someday, lol.

SPM , be over! Please. Need to shake off all these stress.

xx Dini Fadzil

Start off fresh .

Well, hi, hello.

I haven't been blogging for quite some time. Guess the old blog was filled with memories I wish to let go, so yeah, it has been terminated. Finally terminated.

I plan to let go of the sorrow that's pulling me back from happiness. A friend of mine keeps reminding me " Stop living in the past ". Yes, that friend would be my retard bestfriend, Baim. He keeps telling me how I keep holding on to the past. The past should stay in the past. I'll just hurt myself if I keep holding on to something that's never coming back. I need to fix myself. A brand new me.

Obviously I need drastic changes. I regret half of the things I did in the past. Still, no point having tons of regrets if I don't learn from it. It's time for me to aim for something new. Look forward for the future instead of mourning over the past. I should. Wait, I will.

I miss blogging actually. I wonder what made me stop. Since I stopped, I have about 5 journals filled with my crappy writings and scribbles. It's weird how I prefer express my feelings in a book than to a human being. But that's just me.

I'll write more. This is just to say, I've missed you Blogspot :')

xx Dini Fadzil